so if there's any other way to spell the word it's fine with me

i treat my visits to america like a wild abandonment to hedonism, mostly palate-related. if it's not mexican food then it's my grandma's classic meatloaf or my mom's chili or some 90 minute ipa or visiting a hibachi grill or eating some chipotle because we don't even have that in germany. BUT i of course use this time to buy some necessary items that i can't get in germany. i mentioned the necessity of making a shopping list to bastian and he raised an eyebrow, perhaps thinking of my skill of walking into a store for one thing and leaving with twelve, having forgotten why i went into the store (it's a TALENT, really), asking, "like what, for example?"
"really important things that i have to sometimes live without!"
"uh-huh."
"like... hair ties! and bobby pins!"
"i'm sure you can get hair ties in germany."
"no i can't, because these are ouchless and they don't have a metal clasp so your hair doesn't get stuck all over it and you don't yank your hair out."
"well... that is clever. but i'm still sure you can find those in germany."

you see, ladies and jelly spoons, how nice and willing bastian is to reduce his engineer's brain to the level of weighing the pros and cons of ouchless hairbands?

so i make lists of things that i cannot get in germany (burt's bees!) or things that are way cheaper in the US (pretty much... everything) and one of those things happened to be a new pair of glasses. i had lots of intention to buy a new pair.

then i contracted pink eye. oh yes hello dear friend, pink eye. you are such an annoyance and dreadfully unattractive. in the US, my mom would mix powdered boric acid (we always bought it at rite-aid, for those who are planning on taking this advice--and 1 Tablespoon per pint of water) with boiling water and let it cool in the fridge. after it was cold, i'd use an eye cup and rinse out to my heart's delight. it felt so good because it was nice and cool and it really got rid of the noticeable effects of pink eye fast--like next day fast. so i lamented the lack of boric acid (it's also used to kill ants, fun fact) and asked bastian (while we were eating breakfast) where i might procure some.

"i don't know."
"well..." i put on my more helpless tone, one that usually gets my point across. "it's called borsäure in german."
"yeah, i know, but i don't know where you could get some." he adds a shrug while he butters his toast for more effect.
"do you think they have like the powdered sort?"
"i'm not sure."
"my mom always bought it at a drugstore... you can also kill ants with it..."
"then maybe a hardware store?"
"really?"
he stops chewing momentarily to heave a great sigh. "i don't know."

the problem in germany is that all the stores are highly specialized. if something is a hardware store, it's a damn hardware store, and there's no way you'll find anything else there. a drug store is actually a pharmacy and you can only get medicine there--no chance of browsing magazines or buying groceries while you wait. then there are stores that sell things that you usually find in a pharmacy, like toiletries (but no magazines) and the like. the people who work there are all experts too. in the US, salespeople are there to point where things are or to check in the back for more. in germany, however, it's quite assumed you can ask someone who's working there for information and by god, you expect them to know. at a hardware store, a pharmacy, etc., these people better know which screw i need to use or how to take this medicine because screw what the doctor just told me, these pharmacy people know too. and i should argue my doctor's orders with their information for good measure.

we went to the doctor's for my pink eye and i got some drops and that was that. of course, that meant i had to wear my glasses (and for the first time, my eye was nearly swelled shut). i can't wear my glasses often because of my weird eye lashes and besides, i've worn contacts since i was 12. i wear my contacts upwards of 18 hours per day. i am nothing without them.

and then i was without them.

warning: cat is closer than she appears

so i wore my glasses for three days and you know what? i'm not getting new glasses. i hate glasses. i don't know how people can wear glasses. as long as my eyesight is still on the better side of bad (-3.25), i'll just wear contacts.

and i never did, by the way, finish that list of things to buy in the US.