Planning out the day

Me: Do you really think we need 'I'm faking getting ready to get married' pictures?
B: What are those?
Me: You know, pictures of someone holding my shoe in front of my foot and a picture of you putting on your tie as the other guys stand around you like "ha ha, I thought so too."
B: People do that? It's probably all staged.
Me: It is staged.
B: Okay... well...
Me: Here's how it's going to go. We'll wake up and eat breakfast in a diner and then one of us will say, "Are you going to take a shower now?" and the other will say, "Why, are you?" and the other will say, "I took one last night before bed" and the other will say in a minorly aggressive tone, "That doesn't answer my question." And the other will pause and finally say, "Well, you can go first."
B: We're not that complicated.
Me: Okay, well let's say I'll get in the shower. I'll get out, toweling myself and then Buck (my mom's dog) will nose his way into the room since the lock's broken and press his cold nose against my legs and I'll yell at my mom to get him out of the bathroom and you'll come to the door and say, "Are you done yet?" and then Calliope will come in and meow like the Doppler Effect because I haven't made eye contact with her in a couple minutes and then you'll notice I'm holding a makeup sponge with brown stuff on it and you'll ask, "What's that?" and I'll say, "it's foundation" and smear it on my face. And you'll say, "What's that?" and I'll say, "I don't know; I'm supposed to wear it so I look good in pictures" and then Buck will knock over the hair dryer.
B: And you don't want a picture of that?