May 13 2012

I woke up at 8:19 (which was surprising since we'd stayed up until nearly 2 watching Lost for the very first time and as everyone else in the world knows, it's very addicting and also B and I don't always have strong willpower) and waited for Bastian to wake up. I keep a couple books and sometimes my mac next to the bed to make the wait all the more entertaining. B is a strange sleeper and I've given up trying to figure out patterns. He is usually in a solid state of comatose but sometimes he lets out a cheery "Good morning!" making me flinch, nearly dropping my book. On weekends, B doesn't hurry off to the institute so I take advantage of this and start serious conversations (today it was quasi-political, I know, I was surprised too) while still lying in bed because I've been awake and lucid with my thoughts for over an hour and upon just waking, B is too tired and weak to escape or protest.

Today we ate eggs sunny-side-up for breakfast and I was downright giddy about my patriotic peanut butter. I saw its red, white and blue label in Rewe yesterday and I just had to have it. While B was making the eggs, I rinsed off salted cabbage and finished making kimchi. I even put a load of lights into the washer. We ate breakfast and B went to his desk to work and I called my mom to wish her a happy mother's day. My mom is usually awake at 5am; I don't know, she's just one of those people, but I woke her up and we talked about the Kindle book I wanted to send her (I'm pretty bad with surprises) and I realized we didn't have any butter. I said this in a rather loud dramatic way and my mom was asking me what else I had; margarine? Maybe shortening? Did I have shortening? when B overheard and offered to get some. Yes, he really is the nicest, sweetest man (although I do know that he badly wanted strawberry shortcake today). The open shops on a Sunday in Germany are few and far between but he jumped on his bike and brought me back some butter. I made the shortcake and washed dishes while it baked. We sat down to a late lunch of leftover pasta with strawberry shortcake for dessert.

I tell you this because I want you to know that I was having a very nice day (and still am, truthfully) and only had a one-time moment when I realized I'm kind of having a bad year. Somehow my internal clock thinks it's still the beginning of 2012 when it's nearly halfway over and I knew today's date, had been thinking about it for a couple days already and I said it to B: Happy Anniversary (yes, we do go month by month). I've been in Germany for four years.

That's not even the point though.

This year, May 13 was kind of a triple-whammy; usually it's only a double (monthiversary, anniversary of Germany landing) but it was also Mother's Day today, which only lent an ironic (and sardonic) curtain fall. I never ruled out adoption growing up, probably because I'm adopted and it can be that my mom passed this on to me (having adopted 4 canines and 2 cats after me) or that I'm generally open to possibilities. It's exactly why I favor dressing in layers and why I tend to carry hand lotion, hand sanitizer, pepper spray, a hair tie, a book, a pen, a couple hair pins and a menstrual pad with me: You never know. And if you don't need these things, you might run into someone who does. You never know.

Then I met B and somehow things shifted and changed. I was suddenly noticing things in him I'd never noticed in anyone else (he has quite nice sturdy ankles! skin tone and clarity! have you ever seen such a kneecap!) and other things I was paying attention to (height, moles, eyelashes, nose, bone structure, how long he brushes his teeth) on top of the usual I-want-a-nice-boyfriend-who-will-call-me-back-when-he-says-and-who-has-a-nice-sense-of-humor. And we decided to get married about 7 months after we started dating.